Taurax Flank! (spoilers, technically)

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xolotl
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Taurax Flank! (spoilers, technically)

Post by xolotl »

So I've always found it rather disturbing that the Taurax will occasionally drop a Steak when killed. These are, after all, supposedly sentient beings, and it seems a bit rude to go around munching on someone's family member. Sort of puts a whole new light on the conflict between the humans and the Taurax! I bet the Taurax are perfectly nice and reasonable, and would like nothing more than a nice cup of tea and a chat, but then humans came along and mucked everything up by eating someone's grandmother and not being sorry about it. Crass! It does kind of make sense, though - given the Guild's apparent willingness to engage in the wholesale massacre of otherwise-friendly Dwarves, we can assume that it's only a matter of time before every Inn in Mistfell is serving Dwarfkabobs.

Okay, so that paragraph was just an excuse for me to use "dwarfkabobs." Moving on to the actual reason I started this thread - Taurax should totally drop different sorts of meat depending on what killed them.

Cleaving Weapon: Steak
Sword: Brazilian Barbecue
Piercing Weapon: Taruaxkabob
Bludgeoning Weapon: Highly tenderized steak?
Fire: Charred ribs?
Ice: Frozen Taurax McNuggets
Poison: Rotten Meat?

No idea what to do about unarmed combat, bows, or thrown weapons...

Relatedly, there should totally be a Vegetarian Challenge option.

Also relatedly: Taurax Cheese?

Also, therefore, relatedly: Vegan Challenge option.

Semi-relatedly: I bet that Sentinel Stalks would make a great meat substitute.

Okay, discuss.
Last edited by xolotl on July 13th, 2010, 6:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Rowanas
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Re: Taurax Flank! (spoilers, technically)

Post by Rowanas »

Xolotl, you really need to come down off that dwarven mellowleaf before you post.
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SpottedShroom
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Re: Taurax Flank! (spoilers, technically)

Post by SpottedShroom »

I love that Tauraxes drop steak on occasion. I actually wish that was the only way steak was available, in fact. That way, you can have a pile of steaks in your inventory to show off your kill count.

Maybe there aren't non-sentient cows in the Eschalon universe?
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Rebelicious
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Re: Taurax Flank! (spoilers, technically)

Post by Rebelicious »

I am finding the lack of vegan options in Eschalon discriminatory and offensive.
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Kreador Freeaxe
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Re: Taurax Flank! (spoilers, technically)

Post by Kreador Freeaxe »

I think this makes the Taurax cousins of the sentient cow in Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

Also, though, didn't you notice there's a slaughter room on the third floor of Talushorn where they prepare their own dead for dinner?
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Re: Taurax Flank! (spoilers, technically)

Post by Rebelicious »

Kreador Freeaxe wrote:I think this makes the Taurax cousins of the sentient cow in Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

Also, though, didn't you notice there's a slaughter room on the third floor of Talushorn where they prepare their own dead for dinner?
Makes you think about what really happened to that grandmother.
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Re: Taurax Flank! (spoilers, technically)

Post by sirdilznik »

xolotl wrote:These are, after all, supposedly sentient beings, and it seems a bit rude to go around munching on someone's family member.
Yes but Soylent Green is... PEOPLE!

Soylent Brown is... TAURAX!!! :shock:

It's the government man, it's always the government.
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Re: Taurax Flank! (spoilers, technically)

Post by xolotl »

Kreador Freeaxe wrote:Also, though, didn't you notice there's a slaughter room on the third floor of Talushorn where they prepare their own dead for dinner?
Ah, boo - yeah, I had seen that, simply forgotten about it. Been awhile since I've been in that part of Taulshorn (my current playthrough is just entering). So possibly the steaks you get are actually the Grandmother Steaks that the Tauraxes themselves have been carrying around. A little light snack to keep you going out on the Thundersun Grazelands...
sirdilznik wrote:Yes but Soylent Green is... PEOPLE!
I always wanted to make an alternate version of Soylent Green where the big reveal is totally reversed - rather than being repulsed at the contents of SG, there's this blissful realization that this tasty substance is walking around all over the place, just waiting to be processed! Yummy! (cue happy ending)
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Re: Taurax Flank! (spoilers, technically)

Post by sirdilznik »

xolotl wrote:I always wanted to make an alternate version of Soylent Green where the big reveal is totally reversed - rather than being repulsed at the contents of SG, there's this blissful realization that this tasty substance is walking around all over the place, just waiting to be processed! Yummy! (cue happy ending)
Soylent Green is... COCKROACHES!!!

Mmmmm... Sweet, delicious, nutrient rich cockroaches. Nature's healthy snack!
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xolotl
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Re: Taurax Flank! (spoilers, technically)

Post by xolotl »

sirdilznik wrote:Mmmmm... Sweet, delicious, nutrient rich cockroaches. Nature's healthy snack!
Giant Borehead Spreadable Paste? On toast?

With any luck, Book 3 will give us an Eschalon International Culinary Institute to explore...
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Kreador Freeaxe
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Re: Taurax Flank! (spoilers, technically)

Post by Kreador Freeaxe »

xolotl wrote:
Kreador Freeaxe wrote:Also, though, didn't you notice there's a slaughter room on the third floor of Talushorn where they prepare their own dead for dinner?
Ah, boo - yeah, I had seen that, simply forgotten about it. Been awhile since I've been in that part of Taulshorn (my current playthrough is just entering). So possibly the steaks you get are actually the Grandmother Steaks that the Tauraxes themselves have been carrying around. A little light snack to keep you going out on the Thundersun Grazelands...
sirdilznik wrote:Yes but Soylent Green is... PEOPLE!
I always wanted to make an alternate version of Soylent Green where the big reveal is totally reversed - rather than being repulsed at the contents of SG, there's this blissful realization that this tasty substance is walking around all over the place, just waiting to be processed! Yummy! (cue happy ending)
Well, in the novel (Make Room, Make Room by Harry Harrison, so you don't have to look it up in IMDb), they find out that soylent green is people, and nobody cares.
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