Grammar and Spelling Mistakes - Part I

Here's where all things related to Book III are being discussed!
User avatar
Prismatic Maelstrom
Major
Major
Posts: 1767
Joined: January 10th, 2008, 1:09 pm

Grammar and Spelling Mistakes - Part I

Post by Prismatic Maelstrom »

IJBall wanted a separate topic for grammar and spelling mistakes, so here it is! Please post any that you find in this thread.

Before we begin, I know that some of you don't care about missing quotation marks, unnecessary capitals and the like. Good for you! Thomas Riegsecker (BasiliskWrangler) is a big boy, he can decide for himself if any of the suggestions below are worth the time and effort.

- - - - - - - -

Grammar Mistakes/Suggestions #2

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Arima
Text: It seems to me that candecium would be more valuable than...
Correction/Suggestion: Candecium should begin with a capital for consistency with other dialogues

Location: Dialogue with Arima
Text: She then told me that there was a good chance that someone matching your desciption, with your name, would come...
Correction/Suggestion: Description is spelt incorrectly

Location: Dialogue with Arima
Text: I will not pay you for 4 or 7 or 9...only 10 pearls all together.
Correction/Suggestion: Should be four, seven, nine and ten

Location: Dialogue with Arima
Text: Well, pearls are usually found in Giant Clams.
Correction/Suggestion: Both words don't need to begin with a capital

Location: Quest description for "A String of Pearls"
Text: Arima, the owner of the mineral shop in Rockhammer, needs 10 pearls.
Correction/Suggestion: Ten

Location: Rockhammer Mine narration
Text: Ahead you see the yellowish glow of Barrean Sulfur lamps, which burn...
Correction/Suggestion: No need for capital

Location: Dialogue with Logi
Text: You see a dwarven miner looking over a long parchment...
Correction/Suggestion: Dwarven should begin with a capital for consistency with other dialogues

Location: Dialogue with Logi
Text: ...clear up the roach problem by bringing in Cave Scorpions. The only thing that 'brilliant' idea accomplished is now we've got a well-fed overpopulation of cave scorpions living in the...
Correction/Suggestion: For consistency capitalize or uncapitalize the name of the creature

Location: Rockhammer Mine narration
Text: You will not be able to fit into this tunnel which is cut precisely to the shape of the cart.
Correction/Suggestion: ...cut precisely to the shape of a mine cart.

Location: Rockhammer Mine narration
Text: IMPORTANT TIP: To strike a non-hostile object, like these Egg Sacks, hold the...
Correction/Suggestion: No need for capitals

Location: Trap Disarming Window
Text: Chance of successfull disarm:
Correction/Suggestion: Successful is spelt incorrectly

Location: Dialogue with Morwen
Text: Here is 100 gold for services rendered.
Correction/Suggestion: One hundred

Location: Dialogue with Leisle
Text: ...which is a handy skill to have when the dwarves lose their keys.
Correction/Suggestion: Capitalize Dwarves for consistency with other dialogues

Location: Narration Window after level-up
Text: [Character Name]'s maximum Hit Points have increased by [Number]. Maximum Mana Points have increased by [Number]
Correction/Suggestion: Missing full stop

Location: Seawarden's Guild Geo Marker Description
Text: ...the Seawarden's Guilds purpose to maintain a light to guide ships...
Correction/Suggestion: Put the word *is* between the two

Location: Wells outside Seawarden's Guild
Text: ...wheel loops around a gear and decends into the...
Correction/Suggestion: Descends is spelt incorrectly

Location: Name of location
Text: A Wrecked Ship, Level 1
Correction/Suggestion: Remove one of the spaces between the words

Location: Second level of wrecked ship at chest with the widget inside
Text: The chest is empty except for an odd metallic object.
Correction/Suggestion: Found a bottle of wine inside the chest so it wasn't empty, would change text to something like, “The chest is empty except for a bottle of wine and an odd metallic object.”

Location: Dialogue with Seamus when handing in the Crafting Hammer
Text: I can make Swords, Axes, Daggers, Light Armor and Heavy Armor.
Correction/Suggestion: No need to capitalise these words

Location: Dialogue with Seamus
Text: As minutes turns to hours, he carefully hammers...
Correction/Suggestion: Should be turn

Location: Seawarden's Guild door before the stairs
Text: You see a very heavy door of Burly Oak and steel bands.
Correction/Suggestion: No need for capitals

Location: Narration Window after using a skill trainer
Text: Good job! You'll be a master in no time.
Correction/Suggestion: Add quotation marks

Location: Dialogue with Lilith in Baasilt Dunes
Text: I once lived in Tangletree forest,
Correction/Suggestion: Capitalise forest

Location: Dialogue with Lilith in Baasilt Dunes
Text: The Taurax army is 10,000 strong; did you not think it was odd that you walked into the Tower of Talushorn with such little resistance?
Correction/Suggestion: Ten thousand strong and “Tower of” is probably unnecessary as it is never referred to like this again
Book II and Book III Soundtrack on YouTube | Thaermore Revisited - A Mod for Eschalon: Book I
User avatar
Prismatic Maelstrom
Major
Major
Posts: 1767
Joined: January 10th, 2008, 1:09 pm

Re: Grammar and Spelling Mistakes - Part I

Post by Prismatic Maelstrom »

Grammar Mistakes/Suggestions #3

Location: Dialogue with Lilith in the Baasilt Dunes
Text: You might assume that I am a member Crius Vindica as well...
Correction/Suggestion: Put the word “of” between member and Crius

Location: Dialogue with Lilith in the Baasilt Dunes
Text: ...to investigate the reports of goblins seen in Wylderan...
Correction/Suggestion: Capitalize Goblin/Goblins whenever it is mentioned by Lilith for consistency with previous games

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Lilith in the Baasilt Dunes
Text: Can you go over everything again?
Correction/Suggestion: Missing quotation mark at the beginning

Location: Letter that Lilith gives you from Erubor while in the Baasilt Dunes
Text: Go to Moonrise and speak with the owner of the Blackened Bone tavern.
Correction/Suggestion: Tavern should begin with a capital

Location: Quest description for "The Blackened Bone Tavern"
Text: ...you need to earn the warlord's grace by giving him...
Correction/Suggestion: Was capitalized in the note from Erubor

Location: Narration text when entering Elderoak Forest
Text: The sagging Morass trees have given way...
Correction/Suggestion: Doesn't need to begin with a capital

Location: Narration text when a Blue Nidaria attacks you
Text: Blue Nidaria assults [Character Name]...
Correction/Suggestion: Assaults is spelt incorrectly

Location: Dialogue with Ranimer
Text: You have nothing to fear with us...well, that is unless you...
Correction/Suggestion: From?

Location: Dialogue with Ranimer
Text: ...because the bridges have all been destroyed, and Blue Nidaria prevent us from...
Correction/Suggestion: I would replace the word blue with “the” because they are never mentioned like this again

Location: Dialogue with Ranimer
Text: For now, our plan is to ensure the Nadaria do not come to this side...
Correction/Suggestion: Nidaria is spelt incorrectly

Location: Dialogue with Ranimer
Text: Please let me know if you discover it's meaning.
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “its”

Location: Quest description for “The Meaning of the Note”
Text: Ranimer, a Ranger in Elderoak Forest, gave you a mysterious note he found in Baizel's cabin in northwest Elderoak forest.
Correction/Suggestion: Ranger begins with a capital here, but introductory dialogue with Ranimer does not. Forest should begin with a capital

Location: A strange note
Text: This note was found on the floor of a cabin in northwest Elderoak forest.
Correction/Suggestion: Forest should begin with a capital

Location: Moonrise Geo Marker
Text: You read the inscription on the base of the geomarker...
Correction/Suggestion: “geo marker” so it is consistent with other geo markers

Location: Dialogue with Tavern Patron
Text: “Hey there, can you spare a moment? I would like to ask you something” he says as you approach.
Correction/Suggestion: Missing comma

Location: Dialogue with Tavern Patron
Text: I am waiting here for fiancee.
Correction/Suggestion: Put the word “my” in the middle

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Shelta Marie
Text: I am looking for the Blackened Bone tavern.
Correction/Suggestion: Tavern should begin with a capital for consistency with other texts

Location: Dialogue with Shelta Marie
Text: Shelta stares into your eyes like a predator stalking it's prey while she awaits...
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “its”

Location: Dialogue with Mitza
Text: A small ferret runs back and forth accross her sholders, shyly hiding in her locks.
Correction/Suggestion: Across and shoulders are spelt incorrectly

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Mitza
Text: "I was warned by several people that Moonrise was a dangerous town, yet this doesn't appear to be accurate ."
Correction/Suggestion: Delete one space

Location: Dialogue with Mitza
Text: Moonrise is a wonderful town to visit and refesh your supplies.
Correction/Suggestion: Refresh is spelt incorrectly

Location: Dialogue with Mitza
Text: There is a very rare blooming tree up on the slopes of the Astral Mountains which I am...
Correction/Suggestion: Range?

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Mitza
Text: “The idea of gold appeals to me, but the task does not. Maybe when I am a bit more desparate for gold I'll agree to your offer.”
Correction/Suggestion: Desperate is spelt incorrectly

Location: Dialogue with Kirk
Text: I personally stand behind the quality and craftsman ship of everything I sell... minus a 50% restocking fee...
Correction/Suggestion: Craftsmanship should be one word and 50% should be “fifty percent”
Book II and Book III Soundtrack on YouTube | Thaermore Revisited - A Mod for Eschalon: Book I
User avatar
Prismatic Maelstrom
Major
Major
Posts: 1767
Joined: January 10th, 2008, 1:09 pm

Re: Grammar and Spelling Mistakes - Part I

Post by Prismatic Maelstrom »

Grammar Mistakes/Suggestions #4

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Kirk
Text: “I was just hoping for a bit...more. ”
Correction/Suggestion: Delete space

Location: Window that opens when you ask Kirk to train you
Text: Mr. Stongarm: “To train you in level...
Correction/Suggestion: Strongarm is spelt incorrectly

Location: Dialogue with Shepherd Nickolas
Text: Perhaps there is. I have been asked to perform a task...
Correction/Suggestion: Missing quotation mark

Location: Dialogue with Shepherd Nickolas
Text: ...you'll find an abandoned village called 'Wanderer's Glen'. The passing caravans avoid this place because they say the town is haunted.
Correction/Suggestion: Quest description for "The Curious Case of Edgar" refers to Wanderer's Glen as a town, so does the wooden sign outside the abandoned town

Location: Quest description for "The Sealed Letter, Part 2"
Text: Now return to Shelta in Moonrise, and giver her the codeword...
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “give”

Location: Dialogue with Shelta
Text: ...you asked about the Blackened Bone tavern.
Correction/Suggestion: Should begin with a capital

Location: Dialogue with Shepherd Nickolas
Text: His eyes shift to you hands, to the sky, and back...
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “your”, this happens twice (You have the Sigil of Fire/Don't have the Sigil of Fire dialogue)

Location: Dialogue with Dannia
Text: “Alundar is not going to let you speak with any prisoner he holds”
Correction/Suggestion: Missing comma

Location: Dialogue with Dannia
Text: ...to end a long standing feud, and I was to be bonded...
Correction/Suggestion: Delete a space

Location: Dialogue with Shrock
Text: ...you can buy a permit from the tavern owner down the street for 500 gold, or you can perform...
Correction/Suggestion: Five hundred

Location: Dialogue with Dannia
Text: They just like the extra gold it puts in theri pockets. It'll be 500 gold pieces.
Correction/Suggestion: Their is spelt incorrectly and five hundred

Location: Dialogue with Shrock
Text: “So, I can train you in the art of Swords, Cleaving weapons, or Bludgeoning Weapons. Which weapon do you favour?”
Correction/Suggestion: Capitalise “Weapons” and do the same for the dialogue responses

Location: Dialogue with Shrock
Text: About a days walk Southeast of Moonrise is an area...
Correction/Suggestion: Southeast doesn't need to begin with a capital

Location: Dialogue with Shrock
Text: Seawarden Guild
Correction/Suggestion: Mentioned twice from his dialogue, once from a dialogue response. Should be Seawarden's Guild

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Shrock
Text: “I will do this task”
Correction/Suggestion: Missing full stop

Location: Dialogue with Shrock
Text: I'll be right here waiting in your return.
Correction/Suggestion: For?

Location: Quest description for "Cleaning up the Riff Raff"
Text: ...clear out all the pirates and marauders from the Seawarden Guild in the Boglands area.
Correction/Suggestion: Riff Raff is “riffraff” in Shelta/Shrock dialogue. Should be Seawarden's Guild

Location: Old Moonrise sign near former slave building
Text: You see a old, faded sign.
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “an”

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Lucky
Text: “I didn't mean to tresspass, I was just looking around.”
Correction/Suggestion: Trespass is spelt incorrectly

Location: Dialogue with Lucky
Text: The Merchant's Guild of Moonrise decided my business was not longer welcome here...
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “no”

Location: Dialogue with Lucky
Text: So about we roll some bones, and the winner takes the other's gold.
Correction/Suggestion: Put “how” between the words. Question mark at the end?

Location: Dialogue with Valx Grayraven
Text: ...so you like my Orrery do you? I spent 13 years constructing it...
Correction/Suggestion: Does orrery need to begin with a capital whenever Valx mentions it? And should be thirteen

Location: Dialogue with Valx Grayraven
Text: There is a pleasure in the old mage's eye at the confidence in his prediction, if not the event itself.
Correction/Suggestion: Eyes?

Location: Dialogue with Valx Grayraven
Text: ...before the first human or dwarven kind walked the dry lands.
Correction/Suggestion: Dwarven should begin with a capital. Human should as well but it never has been capitalized and I'm sure you don't spend a great amount of time on something so minor
Location: Moonrise Geo Marker
Text: You read the inscription on the base of the geomarker...
Correction/Suggestion: “geo marker” so it is consistent with other geo markers
It would appear that Rockhammer is the only place where there is a space between the two words. Change it at Rockhammer to make it consistent with the other descriptions
Book II and Book III Soundtrack on YouTube | Thaermore Revisited - A Mod for Eschalon: Book I
User avatar
Prismatic Maelstrom
Major
Major
Posts: 1767
Joined: January 10th, 2008, 1:09 pm

Re: Grammar and Spelling Mistakes - Part I

Post by Prismatic Maelstrom »

Grammar Mistakes/Suggestions #5

Location: Dialogue with Valx Grayraven
Text: I know of a person in the Elderoak forest, east of here...
Correction/Suggestion: Forest should begin with a capital

Location: The book “An Axe to Grind”
Text: ...were brutally murdered during a goblin raid...
Correction/Suggestion: Goblin should begin with a capital

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Crazy Bernard
Text: “Ok, sure, what are you working on”
Correction/Suggestion: Missing question mark

Location: Dialogue with Crazy Bernard
Text: You'll get about 5 steps, just outside the...
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “five”

Location: Dialogue with Crazy Bernard
Text: Benard hastely crams a Cotton Wick embeded with Sulfur into a small hole on the lid of a Powder Keg. In his excitment he fumbles about...
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “hastily”, “embedded” and “excitement”

Location: Dialogue with Crazy Bernard
Text: Crazy Bernard seem confused.
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “seems”, happens when you talk to Bernard again after he has dropped the Fused Keg. Bernard should be too busy to talk or you should be given a different dialogue response as it doesn't make sense for Bernard to repeat everything given the circumstances

Location: Dialogue with Arima
Text: “The market rate for pearls is 40 gold apiece, so that's 400 for all ten. Here you are!”
Correction/Suggestion: Fourty and four hundred

Location: Dialogue with An injured man
Text: goblin and goblins
Correction/Suggestion: Capitalise Goblin/Goblins whenever mentioned for consistency with other dialogues

Location: Dialogue with An injured man
Text: ...and the dwarves must be prepared.
Correction/Suggestion: Dwarves should begin with a capital

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Morwen
Text: “Morwen, a man I came upon told me that he saw goblins coming ashore to the east.”
Correction/Suggestion: Goblins should begin with a capital

Location: Dialogue with Morwen
Text: ...and I don't want goblins loitering in these parts...
Correction/Suggestion: Goblins should begin with a capital

Location: Moonrise graveyard tombstone
Text: “Capt. Edward Mapleton, distiguished explorer – d. 611”
Correction/Suggestion: Distinguished is spelt incorrectly

Location: Atrox Deep Prisoner in Moonrise Underground
Text: Nature must take it's course, that's what master says!
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “its”

Location: Dialogue with Baelgar
Text: ...though you are left shakened and anxious.
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “shaken”

Location: Book atop pedestal in Gildedmoon Repository
Text: Welcome to the Gildedmoon Repositry.
Correction/Suggestion: Repository is spelt incorrectly and there is no reason to capitalise it in the other two instances it is mentioned (Repositories/Repository)

Location: Window when selecting how much gold to bet with Lucky
Text: How much Gold do you want to bet?
Correction/Suggestion: Gold doesn't need to begin with a capital

Location: Window when gambling with Lucky
Text: “Well, neither of us won the 'come out' roll, so Now you roll until you get your point, which is [number]. But If you roll a [number], Then the gold is mine!”
Correction/Suggestion: Unnecessary capitals

Location: Window when gambling with Lucky
Text: Go on, keep rolling until you one of us wins!
Correction/Suggestion: Remove “you”

Location: Window when gambling with Lucky
Text: Lucky promptly crawls out a window and hops on a dingy tied to the dock.
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “dinghy”

Location: Window when gambling with Lucky
Text: You rolled an 3.
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “a”

Location: Mirkland Geo Marker
Text: The accident claimed the lives of 17 seamen and sent...
Correction/Suggestion: Replace with “This incident” or something similar as it wasn't an accident

Location: Dialogue with Akadai Kingspawn
Text: “My head? Why are you partaking on such a ridiculous quest, little huuuuman? ”
Correction/Suggestion: Unnecessary space

Location: Dialogue with Akadai Kingspawn
Text: ...I will offer you soooooomthing much greater.
Correction/Suggestion: Missing an “e”?

Location: Dialogue with Akadai Kingspawn
Text: I know of the wars ravaging this world now.
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “war”
Baelgar wrote:A voice pierces your mind. It sounds as though someone is screaming at you, yet your ears hear nothing. "Show me your authorization, human!"
Sounds as though someone is screaming at you yet your ears hear nothing? Does this sentence make sense to the rest of you?

Image
Book II and Book III Soundtrack on YouTube | Thaermore Revisited - A Mod for Eschalon: Book I
User avatar
Prismatic Maelstrom
Major
Major
Posts: 1767
Joined: January 10th, 2008, 1:09 pm

Re: Grammar and Spelling Mistakes - Part I

Post by Prismatic Maelstrom »

So you think the two words below in blue are correct in starting with a capital IJBall?
The Gildedmoon Repository

Welcome to the Gildedmoon Repositry. We strive to be the premiere repository for all of your valuables and commodities. Our security staff is second to none, and unlike other Repositories which have been compromised, we will never allow your possessions to fall into the hands of marauders. In the event of unauthorized access, the contents of the cells can be portaled to another dimension until it is secure enough to return them.

We thank you for putting your trust in the Repository more dignitaries use than any other: Gildedmoon.
Book II and Book III Soundtrack on YouTube | Thaermore Revisited - A Mod for Eschalon: Book I
User avatar
Prismatic Maelstrom
Major
Major
Posts: 1767
Joined: January 10th, 2008, 1:09 pm

Re: Grammar and Spelling Mistakes - Part I

Post by Prismatic Maelstrom »

Grammar Mistakes/Suggestions #6

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Akadai Kingspawn
Text: I am in your debt, Great Kingspawn.
Correction/Suggestion: Doesn't need to begin with a capital

Location: Narration text when Akadai Kingspawn does special attack
Text: Akadai Kingspawn has issued a powerful and fearsom battlecry!
Correction/Suggestion: Fearsome is spelt incorrectly

Location: Container that holds the Crux of Terra in Akadai Underworld
Text: You see a polished great clam shell.
Correction/Suggestion: Giant?

Location: Dialogue with Erubor
Text: Unfortunately, this will also hasten the enemy's search for you, so our talk must be brief.
Correction/Suggestion: Missing quotation mark at the end

Location: Dialogue with Erubor
Text: How lucky we are to have stumbled upon it before his goblin hordes...
Correction/Suggestion: Goblin should begin with a capital

Location: Dialogue with Erubor
Text: ...nearly everything on Eschalon will be destroyed.
Correction/Suggestion: Missing quotation mark at the end

Location: Dialogue with Erubor
Text: Their knowledge of candecium magick and the...
Correction/Suggestion: Candecium should begin with a capital

Location: Dialogue with Erubor
Text: ...before the eruption occurs and dooms us all.
Correction/Suggestion: Missing quotation mark at the end

Location: Quest description for “A Meeting With Karamiklan”
Text: Hopefully the Withered Akadai head that you found...
Correction/Suggestion: Doesn't need to begin with a capital

Location: The book “Magicka Divine”
Text: ...practicing the art of Divinational Magick?
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “Divination”

Location: The book “Magicka Divine”
Text: ...that gives the atheist practitioner of divination magick...
Correction/Suggestion: Should begin with a capital

Location: Narration text in Ruined Castle Dungeon
Text: An airshaft extends up from this room...
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “air shaft”

Location: Narration text in Ruined Castle Dungeon
Text: This narrow corridoor contains jail cells... Once a prisonor was put in a cell...
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “corridor” and “prisoner”

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Lilith at Macross Point
Text:Greatings, Lilith. Tell me what you know.”
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “Greetings”

Location: Dialogue with Lilith at Macross Point
Text: goblins
Correction/Suggestion: Capitalise any mention of Goblins

Location: Dialogue with Magpie
Text: My name is Magpie and I am the magicks dealer with the Ravenline Caravan.
Correction/Suggestion: Alexx calls it the “Silver Scarab Caravan Company”

Location: Dialogue with Magpie
Text: My Aunt Alexx is the Caravan Leader and she gave me...
Correction/Suggestion: Unnecessary capitals

Location: Dialogue with Magpie
Text: ...I don't want any harm to befall him. I'll just write him a return...
Correction/Suggestion: Delete a space

Location: Quest description for “The Missing Magpie, Part 2”
Text: Magpie asked you to return a letter to a man in the tavern at the Merryweather Spirits tavern in Moonrise.
Correction/Suggestion: Would delete the words in blue

Location: Dialogue with Alexx
Text: goblins
Correction/Suggestion: Capitalise any mention of Goblins
Book II and Book III Soundtrack on YouTube | Thaermore Revisited - A Mod for Eschalon: Book I
User avatar
Prismatic Maelstrom
Major
Major
Posts: 1767
Joined: January 10th, 2008, 1:09 pm

Re: Grammar and Spelling Mistakes - Part I

Post by Prismatic Maelstrom »

Grammar Mistakes/Suggestions #7

Location: Dialogue with Alexx
Text: ...founded 40 years ago by my father. I run an 800 mile caravan loop...
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “fourty” and “eight hundred”

Location: The book “Elements of Magick”
Text: There are intricate symbols tattooed into entire surface of the booklet... prepared to learn any new spells you should discover. Years of study have been...
Correction/Suggestion: Place “the” in the middle and delete one of the spaces

Location: Dialogue with Alexx
Text: ...for protection and our Guardsmen stand on... going to send a couple Guardsmen to do the job...
Correction/Suggestion: Guardsmen doesn't need to begin with a capital

Location: Question description for “A Hunting We Will Go” and dialogue response after killing the seven Goblins
Text: goblins
Correction/Suggestion: Capitalise

Location: Dialogue with Alexx
Text: My Lead Guardsman said he used...
Correction/Suggestion: Don't need to begin with capitals

Location: Dialogue with Waylen
Text: You see a younger man holding a crafting hammer.
Correction/Suggestion: Seamus' dialogue capitalises this item

Location: Dialogue with Waylen
Text: ...I am the Arms Dealer for the Silver Scarab Caravan.
Correction/Suggestion: Arms dealer doesn't need to be capitalised and I would add “Company” at the end like Alexx does

Location: Quest description for “The Meaning of the Note, Part 2”
Text: Ranimer, the leader of the forest Rangers, asked that you return to tell him when you uncovered the meaning of the riddle.
Correction/Suggestion: Shadowgrove Rangers? Note?

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Ranimer
Text: “I have discovered the meaning of the Strange Letter.
Correction/Suggestion: Would replace with “strange note” as it was a note, not a letter that Ranimer gave you

Location: Dialogue with Ranimer
Text: I will tell Alywin that you have the blessing of the Forest Rogues and that she...
Correction/Suggestion: Alywin mentions being second in command of the Forest Rogues so presumably Ranimer is the leader? But he is leader of the Shadowgrove Rangers?

Location: Dialogue with Alywin
Text: I am a master bowman, cartographer, and forager. These are the skills most critical to the Ranger mythos of protection, tracking, and survival.
Correction/Suggestion: No need for commas and ranger doesn't need to begin with a capital

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Alywin
Text: “I would like to learn more about the Bow.”
Correction/Suggestion: Remove the capital or replace with something like “...learn more about Bow Weapons.”

Location: Narration text when entering Lair of the Emayu Witch near Baizel's cabin
Text: ...into a secret dungeon beneath Elderoak forest.
Correction/Suggestion: Should begin with a capital

Location: Narration text when entering Lair of the Emayu Witch near Baizel's cabin
Text: It's a tangible evil that you feel like a heavy blanket draped over your shoulders.
Correction/Suggestion: Would replace with "...tangible evil that feels like a heavy blanket draped over your shoulders."

Location: Narration text when you attack any enemy resistant to arrows
Text: Skeletal Archer is resistant to arrows weapons!
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “arrow”

Location: Iron door in Lair of the Emayu Witch
Text: You see a heavy iron door with a keyhold wreathed in Gothic metalwork.
Correction/Suggestion: Doesn't need to begin with a capital

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Valx Grayraven
Text: “I have those teeth that you requested.” [Give Vlax the Troll Teeth]
Correction/Suggestion: Valx is spelt incorrectly

Location: Dialogue with Valx Grayraven
Text: ...you are favorable to the Magick Arts, I would be pleased...
Correction/Suggestion: Would replace with “magickal arts”

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Valx Grayraven
Text: “I'd like to inquire about training in the Magickal arts.”
Correction/Suggestion: Would remove capital whenever Magick/Magickal is mentioned

Location: Dialogue with Valx Grayraven
Text: I think it is the most powerful of all the Magickal practices.
Correction/Suggestion: Missing quotation mark at the end
Book II and Book III Soundtrack on YouTube | Thaermore Revisited - A Mod for Eschalon: Book I
User avatar
Prismatic Maelstrom
Major
Major
Posts: 1767
Joined: January 10th, 2008, 1:09 pm

Re: Grammar and Spelling Mistakes - Part I

Post by Prismatic Maelstrom »

Grammar Mistakes/Suggestions #8

Location: Dialogue with Tavern Patron
Text: “Yes, I suppose it is”
Correction/Suggestion: Missing comma

Location: Dialogue responses with Tavern Patron after handing letter from Magpie
Text: [Just walk away.]
Correction/Suggestion: Remove full stops

Location: Narration text when entering Valley of the Wanderer from Macross Point
Text: The path you are on decends into a valley surrounded by...
Correction/Suggestion: Descends is spelt incorrectly

Location: Narration text when entering Omentor Temple
Text: Decending into the temple, you discover... the air lacks that famililar moldy smell.
Correction/Suggestion: Descending and familiar are spelt incorrectly

Location: Description text when clicking on pedestal at graveyard in Omentor Temple
Text: You see a beautiful, gleeming crystal set atop...
Correction/Suggestion: Gleaming is spelt incorrectly

Location: Description text apon picking up the 'crystal' in Omentor Temple
Text: A voice from behind calls out “Do not take our gem, thief!”
Correction/Suggestion: Comma?

Location: Dialogue with Edgar
Text: I named it 'Bittersting'”.
Correction/Suggestion: Full stop should be before the quotation mark

Location: Dialogue with Edgar
Text: ...was placed here in the my family's vault- a forgotten grave...
Correction/Suggestion: Remove word

Location: The book “Tales of Extreme Survival”
Text: For example, in the chapter “Stranded in the Sands,” Selton describes how... versus those that are poisonous. You even discover...
Correction/Suggestion: Comma should be out the quotation mark or removed and delete a space between the two words

Location: The book “Tales of Extreme Survival”
Text: …trapping small game and scrapping back snow to find...
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “scraping”

Location: Ulgolek Geo Marker
Text: ...on the face of Escahlon have come from...
Correction/Suggestion: Eschalon is spelt incorrectly

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Baizel
Text: “What is this 'Nature Magick' you practice?”
Correction/Suggestion: Don't need to begin with capitals

Location: Dialogue with Baizel
Text: ...you are curious about Nature magick? I find this field, specifically Dark Nature Magick, to be quite...
Correction/Suggestion: No need for capitals

Location: Destroying condensing vessel and returning to Ulgolek
Text: Upon emerging, you see that the Father Tree has suddenly sprouted leaves!
Correction/Suggestion: Ulgolek is always referred to as Grandfather Tree

Location: Name of location
Text: Dwarven Mine Level 2
Correction/Suggestion: Would put a comma after mine for consistency with other locations

Location: Narration text when entering tunnels on second level of Rockhammer Mine
Text: The irregular direction of the tunnels suggests the dwarves followed ore veins.
Correction/Suggestion: Would capitalise Dwarves
Book II and Book III Soundtrack on YouTube | Thaermore Revisited - A Mod for Eschalon: Book I
User avatar
Prismatic Maelstrom
Major
Major
Posts: 1767
Joined: January 10th, 2008, 1:09 pm

Re: Grammar and Spelling Mistakes - Part I

Post by Prismatic Maelstrom »

I would post it in a separate thread IJBall. Will you be looking at the manual as well in the future?
Book II and Book III Soundtrack on YouTube | Thaermore Revisited - A Mod for Eschalon: Book I
User avatar
Prismatic Maelstrom
Major
Major
Posts: 1767
Joined: January 10th, 2008, 1:09 pm

Re: Grammar and Spelling Mistakes - Part I

Post by Prismatic Maelstrom »

I proof read the manual before the release of Book III so I think you should do it. :) I remember you suggesting that the 'Challenges' should be listed in the manual so I added that.
Book II and Book III Soundtrack on YouTube | Thaermore Revisited - A Mod for Eschalon: Book I
User avatar
Prismatic Maelstrom
Major
Major
Posts: 1767
Joined: January 10th, 2008, 1:09 pm

Re: Grammar and Spelling Mistakes - Part I

Post by Prismatic Maelstrom »

Grammar Mistakes/Suggestions #9

Location: Narration text for Secret Area in Omentor Temple
Text: A magicaklly darkened path leads a few...
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “magickally”

Location: Plaque in Ranger Hostel at Western Astral Range
Text: You see “Welcome to the West Astral Ranger Hostel”
Correction/Suggestion: Missing description “a plaque affixed to the wall.” and current text should be in the Extra Text box

Location: The book “Scouts Guide to Defensive Attire”
Text: ...pieces left to the wearer to purchase. Try to stay away from armors...
Correction/Suggestion: Delete a space

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Captain Morgan
Text: “I wasnt aware that spices were illegal? What province enforces that law?”
Correction/Suggestion: Should be “wasn't”

Location: Narration text at Warlord's Pass at the lava
Text: This is likely a choke point to prevent large numbers of intruders to flood this canyon; enemies must proceed...
Correction/Suggestion: Would replace with “from flooding”

Location: Dialogue with Barrean Gatekeeper
Text: When you get near him, he barks out a commnd: “Speak your business!”
Correction/Suggestion: Command is spelt incorrectly

Location: Dialogue with Barrean Gatekeeper
Text: “Then go speak to Alundar!”.
Correction/Suggestion: Remove full stop

Location: Dialogue with Mitza
Text: ...I will give you 1000 gold pieces, but also I will give you a flask of this amazing elixer.
Correction/Suggestion: One thousand and “elixir” is spelt incorrectly

Location: Dialogue with Edgar
Text: Edgar looks upon the weapon and you sense a change in his temperment. “Yes! Yes! That is my Bittersting! Give it to me!
Correction/Suggestion: Temperament is spelt incorrectly and quotation mark is missing at the end

Location: Dialogue with Edgar
Text: Suddenly you sense Edgar's temperment has fully changed...
Correction/Suggestion: Temperament is spelt incorrectly

Location: Recipe “A Vile Weapon Indeed”
Text: ...surrounded by goblins.
Correction/Suggestion: Should begin with a capital

Location: Recipe “A Vile Weapon Indeed”
Text: Imbuing a weapon with Fire takes Ectoplasm and Sulfur. Imbuing it with Cold requires Ectoplasm and Corpse Ash. If you want to imbue poison into your weapon...
Correction/Suggestion: Have “poison” begin with a capital or remove the capitals from the other two words

I now only have Alundar, his dungeon, Karamiklan and the ending to check. I should have it done in a couple of days.

Guess we won't be getting to part II...
Book II and Book III Soundtrack on YouTube | Thaermore Revisited - A Mod for Eschalon: Book I
User avatar
Prismatic Maelstrom
Major
Major
Posts: 1767
Joined: January 10th, 2008, 1:09 pm

Re: Grammar and Spelling Mistakes - Part I

Post by Prismatic Maelstrom »

Grammar Mistakes/Suggestions #10

Location: Dialogue with Alundar
Text: “Stop right there, that is close enough”. He speaks with an accent that originates...
Correction/Suggestion: Would move full stop inside quotation mark

Location: Dialogue with Alundar
Text: The toll for passing through my territory is 2000 gold, and the toll for...
Correction/Suggestion: Would change to “two thousand”

Location: Dialogue with Alundar
Text: Ah, I understand! You are a refugee from Wylderland. I hear that the goblins have started their invasion...
Correction/Suggestion: Wylderan is spelt incorrectly and Goblins should begin with a capital

Location: Dialogue with Alundar
Text: I give a special price for refugees: 4000 gold.
Correction/Suggestion: Would change to “four thousand”

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Alundar
Text: “Uh, yes, 4000 seems fair.” [Give 4000 gold]
Correction/Suggestion: Would change to “four thousand”

Location: Dialogue with Alundar
Text: I will give you a Pass that you can show...
Correction/Suggestion: No need for capital, happens twice on two separate dialogue paths

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Alundar
Text:2000 is acceptable, your Supremacy.” [Give 2000 gold]
Correction/Suggestion: Would change to “two thousand”

Location: Dialogue response when talking to Alundar
Text:Karimaklan.”
Correction/Suggestion: Karamiklan is spelt incorrectly

Location: Dialogue with Alundar
Text: You wish to speak with Karmaklan?
Correction/Suggestion: Karamiklan is spelt incorrectly

Location: Narration text when entering Alundar's Dungeon
Text: The interior of Alundar's Dungeon is dry and not is cold as you imagined it might be. There is a pungent scent in there air, somewhat like sulfur.
Correction/Suggestion: Would replace with "as" and "the"

Location: Text description of book in southwest section of Alundar's Dungeon
Text: ...through the second Gate of Immortality is the the removal of all fear...
Correction/Suggestion: Remove word

Location: Text description of painting in southwest section of Alundar's Dungeon
Text: “Mettar slays the serpent of the Akrid Wastes.”
Correction/Suggestion: Known as Akrid Flats on the Eschalon map

Location: Text description of painting in northeast section of Alundar's Dungeon
Text: “Tyronis lifts a 750 pound rock off a child's leg”.
Correction/Suggestion: Move full stop before quotation mark

Location: Text description of each painting in Alundar's Dungeon
Text: The caption reads
Correction/Suggestion: Would add “:” to the end

Location: Dialogue with Karamiklan
Text: The great serpent draws in a large volume of air...
Correction/Suggestion: Remove quotation mark

Location: Dialogue with Karamiklan
Text: ...which nearly sweeps you from your feet. He smacks his tongue inside...
Correction/Suggestion: Delete a space

Location: Dialogue with Karamiklan
Text: We are coming to the end of this age, and this Game of Stones you've been playing...
Correction/Suggestion: No need for capitals (was this a reference to a particular television series?)

Location: Dialogue/Dialogue response when talking to Karamiklan
Text: candecium
Correction/Suggestion: Would start with a capital for consistency with other dialogues whenever mentioned

Location: Dialogue with Karamiklan
Text: time line and time lines
Correction/Suggestion: One word?

Location: Dialogue with Karamiklan
Text: ...beings who no longer remember their dwarvish heritage.
Correction/Suggestion: Would start with a capital

Location: Dialogue with Karamiklan
Text: ...close proximity to each other where they might easily be misued, and so the four...
Correction/Suggestion: Misused is spelt incorrectly

Location: Dialogue with Karamiklan
Text: Of all my expansive knowledge, what insight of mine would like me to share with you?”
Correction/Suggestion: Add “you” between the words

Location: Special cinematic that plays at the end of Karamilkan's dialogue
Text: You are aware that can make a choice.
Correction/Suggestion: Add "you" between the words

Location: Text box during battle at Macross Point
Text: A Regiment of Dwarves from the...
Correction/Suggestion: Would remove capital

Location: Text box during battle at Macross Point
Text: Erubor has called on the Rangers of Elderoak to...
Correction/Suggestion: Would remove capital

Location: Text box during battle at Macross Point
Text: ...murder of Phoenix backed by a herd Taurax Spearmasters!
Correction/Suggestion: Add “of” between the words

Location: Name of NPC
Text: Dark Steel Mercenaries
Correction/Suggestion: Mercenary?

Location: Text box during battle at Macross Point
Text: With both sides depleated of forces...
Correction/Suggestion: Depleted is spelt incorrectly

Location: Text box during battle at Macross Point
Text: Malkur's Dimensional has been slain!
Correction/Suggestion: Would add “Eye” between the words

Location: Text box during battle at Macross Point
Text: A division of Goblin Hackers and Archers are moving...
Correction/Suggestion: Goblin Soldiers?

- - - - - - - -

Rockhammer Geo Marker
You see a geo marker.
You read the inscription on the base of the geomarker...

Seawarden's Guild Geo Marker
You see a geo marker.
You read the inscription on the base of the geo marker...

Elderoak Forest Geo Marker
You see a geo marker.
You read the inscription on the base of the geo marker...

Moonrise Geo Marker
You see a geo marker.
You read the inscription on the base of the geomarker...

Old Moonrise Geo Marker
You see a geomarker.
You read the inscription on the base of the geomarker...

Mirkland Geo Marker
You see a geo marker.
You read the inscription on the base of the geomarker...

Ulgolek Geo Marker
You see a geomarker.
You read the inscription on the base of the geomarker...

Macross Point Geo Marker
You see a geomarker.
You read the inscription on the base of the geomarker...

Castle Ruins Geo Marker
You see a geomarker.
You read the inscription on the base of the geomarker...

Western Astral Pass Geo Marker
You see a geo marker.
The plaque states that this is the "Western Astral Pass" marker, but the text below has been chipped away and is now illegible. This likely occurred after Alundar took control of these mountains.

Alundar's Pass Geo Marker
You see a geomarker.

Correction/Suggestion: Would make text consistent by having “geo marker” instead of “geomarker”. The geo marker for Aldunar's Pass is missing the “You read the inscription on the base...” text

- - - - - - - -

I am finished.
Book II and Book III Soundtrack on YouTube | Thaermore Revisited - A Mod for Eschalon: Book I
User avatar
Prismatic Maelstrom
Major
Major
Posts: 1767
Joined: January 10th, 2008, 1:09 pm

Re: Grammar and Spelling Mistakes - Part I

Post by Prismatic Maelstrom »

BasiliskWrangler wrote:I'd be happy to send you the full text files (perhaps you already have them) if you would like to make these changes for me.
The download from this topic?
Book II and Book III Soundtrack on YouTube | Thaermore Revisited - A Mod for Eschalon: Book I
User avatar
Prismatic Maelstrom
Major
Major
Posts: 1767
Joined: January 10th, 2008, 1:09 pm

Re: Grammar and Spelling Mistakes - Part I

Post by Prismatic Maelstrom »

I will do this for you.

Would you like a list of every change I make? Or perhaps a list of changes I cannot make because they are hard-coded into the game or come from images?

Take your time IJBall, there is no rush.
Book II and Book III Soundtrack on YouTube | Thaermore Revisited - A Mod for Eschalon: Book I
User avatar
Prismatic Maelstrom
Major
Major
Posts: 1767
Joined: January 10th, 2008, 1:09 pm

Re: Grammar and Spelling Mistakes - Part I

Post by Prismatic Maelstrom »

Should the codeword 'fireglow' be in all capitals? It looks like you and Ranimer are shouting.
Book II and Book III Soundtrack on YouTube | Thaermore Revisited - A Mod for Eschalon: Book I
Post Reply