*** CrazyBernie's Mega Fan Fiction Hangout! ***

[Kreador Freeaxe]

Maybe it's time to create a "fan fiction" forum?

Call it Crazy Bernie's Open Mic Night.

[CrazyBernie]

Dear CrazyBernie,

What are You ?
a) under 20 years old
b) Older then 50 years
c) Out of job
d) not a big social life

Or are multiple answers possible?
You seem to have huge amounts of free time...

please dont make me jealous.

Big kisses from me. (ok ok i rather not)

I'm what you would call "underemployed." Technically I'm self-employed... but I don't (currently) make enough to support myself. It's the result of moving to a new state to "start over" and having the nation's economy blow up in my face shortly after. Can't go back, and can't get a job around here to save my life... even the local McDonald's is turning people away (not that I was looking to apply, I just happened to witness a woman with "30 years of restaurant experience" get told they couldn't afford to hire any more help). The situation is irreversible, so I'm making the most of it. You could call all of this stuff I have posted "training."

If you think that the amount of writing here is the result of huge amounts of free time, you're sorely mistaken. The stuff I write usually comes all at once... it usually takes me less than an hour or two to type out a "work." I'll often make a general outline here and there, but the meat of each story is me "going with the flow" when I'm typing. Some of the longer stuff I've done in pieces... I'll write a paragraph, then not come back for a couple of days until I have a sudden burst of inspiration. In the case of LtF's "Premonition" (the "story" I just posted), I actually outlined and wrote a good chunk of it 20 minutes on a notepad while riding back from an IT gig in Louisiana (I live in Tennessee). I didn't sit down and type it for another week.

I'm trying to get into the habit of writing every day... but it's rough given the distracting environment (living with family). I don't have a (roadworthy) vehicle, nor do I have a (reliable) laptop. With this last IT gig, I'm hoping to rectify both of those problems so I can run away from the house and get some fresh air and mabye find a nice quiet place to hide.

Since I don't have any friends down here in TN, it's hard to have a social life. Sure, I could go to a bar... but I don't drink... so that could get a little awkward:

Me: "Hey, let me buy you a drink."
Woman: "Thanks! What are you drinking?"
Me: "Water."
*** uncomfortable silence ***

Of course, being stuck living with my family doesn't help either:

Woman: "Hey, let's get out of here."
Me: "Sure thing, babe. Your place, or my parents?"
*** uncomfortable silence ***

So, to answer your questions:

a) Nope.
b) Nope.
c) Yes, but No.
d) *shrug* It's not a concern for me at this moment in my life.

Hope that helped!

[iamrichard]

Me: "Hey, let me buy you a drink."
Woman: "Thanks! What are you drinking?"
Me: "Water."
*** uncomfortable silence ***

Of course, being stuck living with my family doesn't help either:

Woman: "Hey, let's get out of here."
Me: "Sure thing, babe. Your place, or my parents?"
*** uncomfortable silence ***

Pure poetry, you almost made me cry
We have alot in common (You sound like me in my younger years (read 5-10 years ago). Its nice that you shared us your story.
All i can say is, it useally gets better in time..

[Evnissyen]

Wow. That was the fastest turn-around in judgment I've seen in a long time.

Anyhow... one amendment to the above post: social-life gets easier in college, so long as you're willing to be social . . . after you leave college, however, it gets much more difficult . . . unless you happen to land a job that allows you to meet lots of people and interact with them on a person-to-person basis, or the company you end up working for hires lots and lots of people of your preferred gender in the really massive building you work in.

...Sigh.

[CrazyBernie]

Pure poetry, you almost made me cry
We have alot in common (You sound like me in my younger years (read 5-10 years ago). Its nice that you shared us your story.
All i can say is, it useally gets better in time..

Interesting... usually it makes everyone laugh when I tell them how my life has been a series of unfortunate events. I'm not really worried about it getting better or worse... it is what it is. *shrug* If I let stuff like that bother me, I'd be miserable all the time. I'm too lazy to be miserable.

Wow. That was the fastest turn-around in judgment I've seen in a long time.

I call it the "CrazyBernie Effect." It's like the "Butterfly Effect" but without the whole time-travel-that-backfires-in-your-face deal.

Anyhow... one amendment to the above post: social-life gets easier in college, so long as you're willing to be social . . . after you leave college, however, it gets much more difficult . . . unless you happen to land a job that allows you to meet lots of people and interact with them on a person-to-person basis, or the company you end up working for hires lots and lots of people of your preferred gender in the really massive building you work in.

Yeah.... there's no guarantees with either of those situations either. The former cultivates a dislike of people in general, and the latter, well... does the same thing. 0_o

[iamrichard]

Interesting... usually it makes everyone laugh when I tell them how my life has been a series of unfortunate events. I'm not really worried about it getting better or worse... it is what it is. *shrug* If I let stuff like that bother me, I'd be miserable all the time. I'm too lazy to be miserable.

I didnt laugh at all. i guess thats because we have more in common then you think. for a fact, iam lazy too haha.

[CrazyBernie]

***Starts sweeping around with a broom, whistling a tune***

Nothing to see here, move along, move along.

[BasiliskWrangler]

They say that on cold nights in early April, under the shrouded moonlight that is filtered through the still bare maples trees, you can sometimes see the ghost of old man Bernie. He often appears to be sweeping, sometimes whistling a haunting tune that sounds both mournful and melancholy. Though, his visit is always brief, and no sooner do you spot him does he fade away, making you question if you really ever saw him at all.

[Randomizer]

It was just a fragment of your imagination.

[CrazyBernie]

You are padding softly through the night forest while stalking some prey, when somewhere in the distance, your ears pick up the sound of metal sliding on hide, followed by a faint clink. Then, a clatter, as something is discarded.

A short time later a mild, low frequency hum begins to reverberate around you. The sound slowly increases in volume, becoming a droning that pulsates faster and faster. The acrid smell of something burning assaults your sensitve nose when suddenly a loud roar erupts, and you are buffeted with huge gusts of wind. You instinctively take cover behind the fallen trunk of a tree and flatten your ears. The trunk begins to vibrate, as though it will shortly roll away. A dark shape trailed by streaks of fire breaks above the trees and shoots off at an immense rate of speed. With its departure, the winds die down and the forest begins to return to normal. You can still see and hear the thing that's growing ever smaller in the night sky, but soon it becomes as small as the stars above.

As you turn to retreat back to your den, you hear the strange, disembodied voice of a human.

"Cool spaceship, bro."