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Re: Grammatical errors and typos part 4

Posted: May 30th, 2010, 2:42 pm
by IJBall
Jedi_Learner wrote:Version 1.03:

- - - - - - - -
  • Information you get after talking to a citizen of Port Kuudad:

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    The word *them* should be replaced by *him*.
I'm trying to figure out a way to make this 'gender neutral', so it's non-specific for male or female... Um, how about:
This person nods when greeted, but then quickly continues on [down the street(?)]*. Citizens of this large city are not as friendly as those in the smaller villages.
Wouldn't this work better?...

* I'd only use "...down the street" if this blurb is used just for people outside in the city. But I think at least one person inside a house also gets this blurb displayed, in which case "...down the street" should be dropped entirely, or replaced with "...with what they were doing" or something.

Re: Grammatical errors and typos part 4

Posted: May 30th, 2010, 2:50 pm
by IJBall
Jedi_Learner wrote:Aren't all the citizens male though? :P Just going to check.
I don't think it's meant to be specific that way - I think the generic citizens of Port K. are just 'paper dolls' that could be either male or female.

At least, that's my take on it... :mrgreen:

Re: Grammatical errors and typos part 4

Posted: May 30th, 2010, 7:54 pm
by IJBall
Jedi_Learner wrote:Version 1.03:
  • Informative text if you have Lock Picks but no Skill Level in Pick Locks:

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    The item is called "Lock Pick" in-game, so I would make a space between lock and picks.
It would also appear the second line is missing the word "You...".
As in, "You must first learn the skill 'Pick Locks'."

Re: Grammatical errors and typos part 4

Posted: May 31st, 2010, 12:36 am
by Buckets
Lockston Hall Archives, when you click on the bell tree, it says "You see you see a Bell Tree." - duplicated words

Re: Grammatical errors and typos part 4

Posted: May 31st, 2010, 8:20 am
by Kreador Freeaxe
Buckets wrote:Lockston Hall Archives, when you click on the bell tree, it says "You see you see a Bell Tree." - duplicated words
Poetic license? Or ringing in the ears. ;-)

Re: Grammatical errors and typos part 4

Posted: June 2nd, 2010, 12:30 am
by IJBall
This is not exactly a "typo" but the right-click description of the Predator Sight potion does not list its duration (i.e. how many rounds you get Predator Sight for, from the potion).

Almost every other potion like this lists its duration in its description, so I think this just must be an oversight in the (rather long...) description of the Predator Sight potion...

Re: Grammatical errors and typos part 4

Posted: June 2nd, 2010, 1:20 am
by Buckets
Text for Quest "Destroy the Crux, Part 3..." says "Now that you have gained entrance to the Talushorn, locate..." - word "the" is unnecessary. Other quests refer to this place as "Talushorn, the Citadel of the Taurax".

Re: Grammatical errors and typos part 4

Posted: June 2nd, 2010, 12:42 pm
by KillingMoon
The Manual and character setup are giving contradicting info about the effects of a Devastating Blow:

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Re: Grammatical errors and typos part 4

Posted: June 2nd, 2010, 1:00 pm
by Buckets
Jedi_Learner wrote:
  • Informative text when you open the empty chest in Thieves' Arcadia:

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    "Just the kind of trick you'd expect in a thieves lair."
Shouldn't thieves be thieves' with an apostrophe?
Jedi_Learner wrote:
  • Dialogue option with Zeblin:

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    When you abandon quests with Harpen and Brelinda, the text ends with [END QUEST]. I believe this dialogue option should be changed to be consistent.

    "It is a deal." [END QUEST]
I disagree. I think having the informative text about having to abandon the Assassin's quest is important here.

Also, new error:
In text of A Dying Orakur: "...they are widely thought of as myth." - word "myth" should be "mythical"

Also: "...It is if you are trying to guess..." - missing word "as" so it should read: "It is as if you are trying to guess..."

Also: "...If he is successful then we are all doomed..." - need a comma after the word "successful"

Re: Grammatical errors and typos part 4

Posted: June 2nd, 2010, 1:47 pm
by Buckets
I found that text especially helpful in this scenario because had it not been there, I may not have understood that I would be giving up all hope of completing the quest. I could have just assumed that an option to kill him later and continue the quest would have been available. The other situations you mention are more obvious.

Re: Grammatical errors and typos part 4

Posted: June 2nd, 2010, 1:52 pm
by IJBall
KillingMoon wrote:The Manual and character setup are giving contradicting info about the effects of a Devastating Blow:

Image

Image
Note that there is a separate thread for Player's Manual typos over in the Mac support forum. Just FYI for everyone...

Re: Grammatical errors and typos part 4

Posted: June 2nd, 2010, 6:06 pm
by CrazyBernie
Jedi_Learner wrote:
Image

Appears to a space where the mouse cursor is.[/list]
Should also be a comma before the closing quote... in case that hasn't been pointed out already.

Re: Grammatical errors and typos part 4

Posted: June 2nd, 2010, 7:30 pm
by IJBall
Jedi_Learner wrote:I hope people don't think I'm being petty by posting some of these...
I don't. If I was BW, I'd want somebody (preferably more than one!) going through the dialogue, etc. text to look for these kinds of things.

Which is not to say that I've agreed with every grammar suggestion that you, or others, have brought up (some of these have been judgment calls, or "poetic license" use of the English language, and I wouldn't expect BW to change every single thing that's been brought up!... :wink: )

But, like I said, if it was me, I'd rather people brought these kinds of things up than not. :mrgreen:

Re: Grammatical errors and typos part 4

Posted: June 2nd, 2010, 9:42 pm
by Kreador Freeaxe
Downstairs in the Archive areas in Lockston Hall, in the room with the tables covered with artifacts, the description says "A map laying on another table..." That should be "A map lying on another table..."

Unless the map is having sex.

As an aside, if that little something in the far corner that was dug up in Barrea is a preview of Book III, I'm salivating.

Re: Grammatical errors and typos part 4

Posted: June 3rd, 2010, 8:16 am
by Yotie-o
Not sure if this one's been mentioned. Don't have time to read through them all.

I found one when I walked into Hammerlorne. The text states: "The air in the mines is warm and dry and carries with it an oddly pleasant of bread and malted barley, mixed with the fumes of smelted ore."
The error being "an oddly pleasant [what?] of bread and malted barley..."

Cheers